My beliefs are that if I have a connection that can benefit a friend of mine, I will make an introduction to see if there is any synergy and build from there. I mean, why not? Isn’t that the right thing to do? Isn’t that how all business minded individuals think?
Unfortunately the answer to the last question is a resounding no. From my discussions with entrepreneurs one of the biggest shocks they have faced is when their friends or close associates refuse or do not offer their network as a resource to them. Now I have to admit that sharing netoworks can be tricky, for various reasons so its not as cut and dry as one may think.
Some reasons people do not share their networks are:
- Fear of people ruining relationships- Some people feel that I am not going to introduce you to someone who I have worked hard to build a relationship with and have you destroy that relationship because you do something bad. That is a very real concern. I in no way meant to imply that you share your network with everyone because that can definitely happen. Some people are not ready for some of your introductions yet. They will in fact destroy your connections if you introduce them, but there are some people who can handle it and who are ready. You know exactly who those people are, just choose wisely.
- Fear of people building a better and stronger relationship with YOUR connections-Yes, this is a very real concern. They feel if I make this introduction and they have nice chemistry they may connect and do great things and succeed without me. This comes from a sense of insecurity. I have noticed that when you get so consumed with your purpose, vision and business, you have no time to worry about others success or to fear it as well.
- Some people don’t like to mix their friends. They have work friends, childhood friends, business friends, and family friends. They keep them all separate and love it that way. Nothing you can say or do will convince them to change this behavior.
- Lastly, they are only focused on themselves and can careless about how others succeed or if they do. They believe, listen I made these connections and I am doing what I have to do, let them do what they have to do as well. Yes, there are plenty of individuals like this believe it or not. They feel in every relationship they have they are the ones to be supported, praised, looked up to, cheered on, given to, looked at in awe. They don’t know you to support you, they know you so that you can give all you have to them and them alone.
The key to being successful is building strong relationships, nurturing them and supporting each other. When people show you who they are the first time believe them and learn from it. I always say, its not lonely at the top if you bring people with you.