Who is todays black woman?
If I was to just answer this question simply based on what I see and hear on the internet and television that would not be to pretty. Those outlets do not do the black woman justice. I know I can hear people yelling, “Those are just shows”, “let them live”, or “we need all the roles we can get”. Trust me I understand all of that but I believe the impact that these images have are tremendously impacting young ladies and women of color all over in such a negative way.
Reality is imitating fantasy all the time. If Olivia Pope wears an outfit, the sales on that outfit goes up. If Mary Jane has a nice bag, the sale on the bag goes up. If someone has sex in the bathroom using a shower pole, the sale on that item goes off the charts. Life is definitely imitating art, good and bad. This is only part of it, when there are fights among black women on these shows, or cheating or any other negative behavior social media will have the same activity from ladies young and old. Now the stars on these shows are definitely benefitting and being paid handsomely for it, which some of them should, and why not since the companies are making tremendous money off of it. But at what cost? I asked a question on social media this week…Who is the most positive African American woman on television today? People were hard pressed to give me an answer. So many of the roles on TV are not roles that young girls should imitate. I hear you saying why not? Olivia is hugely successful, intelligent, savvy, well dressed, and beautiful. She is a leader, an entrepreneur, and very determined. Mary Jane is a business woman, gorgeous, stylish, fit, highly motivated and very successful. Cookie, although a little aggressive, is determined, resourceful, stylish, focused and intelligent. Aren’t these qualities that we want our daughters to have? I would have to agree with you there. However they all share a common problem, men. For some reason they all have men issues. As I do a lot of networking and meeting different woman a lot of them say they have the same issues as well. They are becoming more successful in business but not so successful in love. I believe that is a reason why these shows are so successful because people can relate to them so well.
Another big part of it is that men have done a big number on so many woman. They have called them all kinds of names (THOT, HOE, BITCH, etc.), treated them all kinds of ways. You even have videos now going around where so called men are fighting woman and posting it. Everyone knows black women outnumber black men, and men use that to their advantage. So if you have a young girl who does not have high self-esteem because her father, or parents didn’t fill her with confidence growing up. Now she begins to be called derogatory names and treated horribly by young boys and men, and she is watching negative images of black women on TV, she becomes a prime victim to men all over to be used and abused.
I think of my mother, who used to work, come home, cook, clean, make 3 kids do their homework and put us to bed, then get ready for the next day. My father didn’t get home to midnight from work so she had her work cut out for her. I never heard her complain or say this is too much. It might have been but she handled it like a trooper. My grandmother did it with 3 kids the same way, and my great-grandmother did it for 8 kids, just the same. Now women have never had it easy in society, especially not African American woman. But they always seemed to persevere and shine through with incredible strength and grace. Somehow and someway they made things happen, came through when it seemed impossible and all with a smile. This is what I think of when I think of Black women. Not what I see on television or the internet.
So who is todays black woman? I know she is definitely not a THOT, whore or a bitch. I believe she is a strong woman who loves her family. I believe she runs her business or employment highly effectively. I believe she dresses as a queen and keeps her home in order. I believe she is not defined but TV roles, or social media but has high self-esteem and allows God to define her. Whether in a relationship or not she is confident in her abilities and talents. Who is todays Black Woman? I believe she is a true Queen. So no matter what society says, dust of your crown and straighten it out on your head. Just read Proverbs 31, I married one.