Tag Archives: family

Merry Christmas!! Are you Hiring?

Happy holidays everyone!

Doesn’t it seem like everyone is just a little bit happier and nicer. As the song goes, “This is the most wonderful time of the year”. The time between Thanksgiving and Christmas is such an exciting and fun time, unless of course if you are an unemployed man with a family.

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     Being unemployed during the holidays is not fun at all, add in being a husband and a father, and that can make a person very frustrated and depressed. In fact contrary to popular belief, December is the month when most people get stressed, upset and depressed.  So while some are thrilled and excited a good number of men, especially black men, are looking for something to smile about.
     Also this comes at a time when black women are soaring in the corporate world and as business owners.  I just read a report that stated, black women are becoming entrepreneurs at an alarming rate, which is a fantastic fact. So imagine a man, who cannot find work, being married to one of these smart, intelligent, and successful black women. No matter how strong he is, the fact that she is so successful is a tough task for some men. Men like to be seen as the bread winner, and the king, but when they cannot support their family that leads some men into serious depression, and some even to violence.
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     Some of these men maybe well educated, some may have just come home from prison, and some may just have been laid off by their companies. Either way, finding work is a big factor for them. God has called us men to work, because when we work we have a sense of pride and accomplishment. When we don’t it is as if something is missing. I remember when I first got married, I was unemployed for about 2 years. I used to see my wife go to work every day and I would feel sick. I wasn’t working because of lack of trying, I just had a hard time getting hired. I thank God that Keenya (my wife) didn’t make me feel worse than I already felt. She was very encouraging and supporting. Ladies, if you have a husband that has recently been laid off or fired, or is having trouble finding work, take these tips from me
1)      Be encouraging – I know it may be frustrating if you are bringing home the bacon, cooking it and cleaning it, but you will get more out of your husband by building him up than by tearing him down.
2)      Talk to him not down at him- So often I hear from men that one of the worst feelings they have is when their woman talks down to them like a child. That feeling is the worse. Men don’t want to feel like they have another mother. I can’t tell you how empowering it is for the woman you love to respect, honor and cherish you. Even though you may not be on top of your game at the moment, but to know she still has that respect for you is such an amazing feeling.
3)      Never compare -Men come in various forms and talents, each of us bring something special to the table. Another negative is for women to constantly compare other men to their mate. Again this may be a tough time as it is by not working but to hear comparisons will only make it worse. Appreciate his good qualities and talents. That will help keep his spirits up. I don’t care what those talents are, cooking, taking care of the kids, dart playing, whatever.
Now this goes without saying that he is looking for work, assisting with the home and not playing Madden all day lol.
This time of unemployment will eventually pass and your relationship will be able to grow from these tough times. But don’t let a little blip destroy something that has the ability to be great. Christmas comes once a year but the relationship is every day. Like in my situation,  I eventually found work and later on started <a href=”http://www.thatsuitsyou.org” target=”_hplink”>That Suits You</a>, (we provide suits for qualified men to go on interviews) I will always remember how I was treated during the tough times. People will never forget how you made them feel. Everyone loves sunny days but just remember rainy and snowy days are a part of life as well.

Church 2015…Do We Still Need IT?

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Growing up my parents made sure that my brother, sister and myself attended church EVERY Sunday. When I say every, I mean every Sunday. Even when my parents didn’t go my aunt Linda was sure to pick up the slack and bring us….by the way, auntie, I meant to thank you for that!! Sheeshhh. It seemed to me like that was the core belief back then. Making sure that children received that basic belief of God, church, etc. Like it or not I do believe that has helped mold me in many ways to be the person I am today. However, it really got me to thinking, Is this still being taught? Is church attendance stressed like before? Is going to church still a priority for people of all ages in 2015?

No way am I saying growing up in the church leads you to have a perfect, no problems, everything about you is on point and you never make bad decisions, kind of life. That is not it at all. However I do believe that it can have some effect and help us in our decision making.

I had a long conversation with a few people about this topic and here are some of their views. I will use fictitious names (they may sound familiar to some of you) to protect the innocent..lol

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Fitz: My view is that I definitely believe that church is crucial to society today. If we look around and see all that is going on it seems obvious to me. If you ride the subways and listen to our youth, 90 percent of what you hear is “this nigga, that nigga, that bitch, this bitch. When you go to social media, it is definitely obvious. I can look at a timeline and see updates that say “PRAISE THE LORD”, “GOD IS GOOD”, and then the very next update is a twerking video, or naked photos from the very same person. I believe 2 reasons for this is a lack of understanding of who God is and the lack of the family structure. No one to show them examples of Godly living and no to take them to church. I am not perfect at all, but I do believe church and the teaching of the Bible have helped me in my life.

Hakeem: My view is on one hand I definitely believe that church can add value to one’s life, however on the other hand I have seen too many hypocrites in the church that it makes it hard for me to go back. I believe it adds value because the principles and teachings that you learn in church are very valuable. Especially if it is a church that teaches the Word. I am not one to be yelled at and condemned for 5 hours on a Sunday, no thank you. But if it is a church that teaches and explains how to make better decisions, then yes. On the other hand time after time I see too many people proclaim one thing and then purposely live in total opposition to that. Now don’t get me wrong I am not saying people who go to church won’t miss it from time to time, but when they purposely gossip about others, have double lives for years, or other judgmental actions, it is contradictory. God will have to heal my heart to return because I know church has value but right now I just can’t get past the people issue. Now I know people say well it is hypocrites at the mall and I still go there but like I said right now I just can’t get past the people thing in the holy place.

Olivia: My view is people have it all wrong, the church is just a building. I am the church. The Bible clearly states that we are the church. The place of worship is just a building. Since I am the church, God is with me everywhere and I don’t have to go to a building to worship him. I know God loves me just the way I am. As a matter of fact I am doing better in life than most of my friends who go to church 3 times a week, which proves my point. Not that I am comparing myself to others but, it is what it is…

Andre: My view is I am God!!!

Maryjane: My view is I love God, I love the church but I really don’t have the time to attend. Although I don’t have any kids, I travel, work, and do more work. I run a few businesses so it leaves me very little time to attend a church. Like I said , I love the Lord and read the Bible every so often but I don’t have time for church.

Cookie: My view is I agree kind of with Hakeem. I keep the love of God in my heart but church just isn’t for me. I love to party, and I can’t lie, I love sex. I have to be real. I just can’t deal with the judgmental folks who would try to condemn me for what I enjoy. I mean, it may be wrong but at this point in my life this is what I enjoy. Maybe my future husband is in the church but until I find him I will continue to enjoy myself. I still pray every day and listen to Creflo Dollar from time to time, and I might occasionally attend a church but just not regularly. You are not going to include my real name right?

Ghost: My view is, I agree totally with Cookie, especially about the sex part.

Tommy: My view is a love God and I love my church. I will continue to go every week and bring my family

Do you see yourself in any of these? What is your view? We want to hear it…..

Major League Business 39 STRIPES

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We are delighted to feature this awesome organization this week

The founder Vakaya Townsend is a very passionate, focused, caring and dedicated young lady who has a passion to help other young ladies fulfill their purpose

 

39 Stripes is a non profit  organization that was founded in 2013 and it continues to flourish and effect lives.

Check out their mission

39 Stripes is an organization founded on faith to empower, uplift, and equip young ladies and women from all walks of life. We offer a program called Esther’s Court for young-ladies ages 12-17 which is a year-long program that is modeled after a Biblical queen for her diligence and courageous acts. We engage with the community through service and our Family Fun Day events and strive daily to positively impact the lives of others.

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If you go to their website you can hear, see and feel Vakaya’s commitment to helping young ladies achieve greatness.

Www.39-stripes.org

You can also follow them on Twitter, FB and Instagram

@39stripesinc

 

Here are some of their upcoming events

March 28, 2015 we will have our first annual Father-Daughter Gala entitled “A Knight for a Princess” please come join us for an impactful message, dinner, dancing and spending time with your princess.

Early Bird Registration is $ 20 per family which includes a plated dinner of your choice– chicken, pork loin or vegetarian meal selection and a photographer will also be on-site.

**Regular Registration is $35

     Additional daughter(s) $10

 

You may register online at 39-stripes.org

 

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Why Won’t My Family & Friends Do More To Help My Business!?!?

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So often this is the question I get from so many business owners I speak to. They say they expect so much more is from the people that are closer to them. They see strangers or new acquaintances doing so much more to help them build their business than people they have known for years. Though I truly understand the thinking behind this I believe sometimes it is not as accurate as we think. Let me explain….

As a business owner myself I can relate somewhat to these concerns but I cannot agree totally. I have several family members and friends that are EXTREMELY helpful to my business ideas.  They go out of their way to assist in different ways and then you have some people that couldn’t care less. I believe it varies depending on the individual. However the frustration from the people I speak to comes from having expectations that to them seem simple. They wonder why is it so hard for a long time family member or friend to simply LIKE a Facebook post, SHARE a Facebook post, RETWEET a tweet. Or come to one event they have, buy their product, or patronize their business.

Some people become really upset and take it very personal when they pour their heart out into a well thought out FB post or tweet and no one shares it or RT’s it, not even their “people”. And then 15 minutes later they see those same friends who didn’t share their post, share a irrelevant post about a WorldStar Hip hop fight, or a video about dogs doing silly tricks. They know you sell shoes but they always buy their shoes from someone else because they FORGOT about you. Lastly they know you just opened a hair salon but they always think of a reason not to go to your  shop. To add to this people they have never met are sharing, tweeting, buying and promoting them extremely hard. They post ” Hello” and 5 people they couldn’t pick out of a hat have forwarded it through all of their social media outlets.

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I have found out a few reasons why this happens.

1) Sometimes people honestly do not realize how important their support is to you. They don’t realize that their tweets, shares, likes and business is extremely important and EXPECTED by you. As hard as that is to believe it is true. It may take having that conversation  and asking them why they don’t support you in those ways. It may be awkward at first but it is better than being secretly upset with people because of their apparent lack of support.

2) Some people feel very selective about their social media and decide I will share only what I decide to and nothing else. If I don’t want to share your information I won’t do it. They feel I am connected to a variety of people and I don’t want to offend anyone or promote in particular business on my pages

3) Some people are not as aware of your post, tweets, business as you think. You would be surprised how many people are not as familiar with what you are up to. That is why it is critical to continually promote your business.

4) Lastly some people really don’t want you to succeed. I put this last because I believe we think this group is larger than it is. While this group does exist I believe it is a small percentage compared to the other groups. They purposely WILL NOT do anything to help you advance. Get over your feelings about them, cease and desist any efforts to convince them. Forget and forgive. Stop spending precious time trying to figure our why they won’t support. Thinking that you went to 3 of their events so they can at least support you once. You always like and share their post so they should at least do the same. Stop it, stop it now and move past that.  Also continue to support them regardless if they ever do anything for you.

 

So despite these 4 groups, I believe if we really think about it, our supporters by far out number our non supporters. Listen, it is a new year, let’s not focus on the non supporters this year but let’s celebrate the people who cheer us on, the people who go above and beyond what we expect. Whether they are DAY 1 people or DAY 4589, It doesn’t really matter, and lets do the same for them. After all remember the golden rule!!!

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